The infamous frown!

It's hard to capture a picture of this intense frown that Mother gives but I attempted to show at least part of it

Yes, that is Mother 'napping' with her frown. This doesn't show the intensity of the frown but we know when that frown starts to come out when she is awake that she is about to start a little melt down. It's a good cue for us. We usually try to make sure the frown doesn't come out but guess what? dementia is unpredictable!

The smallest but most important things matter to Mother

It's important to remember that it's hard to win with dementia. One day your normal routine may not work and you have to adjust to make sure your loved one is happy or well, safe and comfortable. We try to avoid waking Mother up from naps so when Melanie went to work the last week she didn't wake Mother up before she left. Mother woke up and was extremely angry. She kept asking Kendra where Melanie was and once she told her she was at work she was livid because she didn't say goodbye. I got home and asked Mother about Melanie and what she did and she just shook her head and disgust. She in her own little demented way kept talking about how mad she was at Melanie. We told Melanie about how mad Mother was so when Melanie got home from work she had made her a handmade "I'm sorry" card. She gave it to Mother and said she was sorry. Although, you could tell that she was still mad she loved the card and gave a little smile. The saying is true that a smile can mean the world to someone and that's what Mother's smile does for us.

Projecting anger onto sloppy joes

I never knew that Mother had such anger in her and especially not Sloppy Joe anger. Depth perception is a bit off with Mother's disease and this causes her to spill a bit. I know making Sloppy Joe's wasn't the smartest idea but I thought I was being clever by giving her a fork would help out the situation. I was definitely wrong and Mother was so angry. She enjoyed the food but got must of it everywhere and was moaning about it for hours. Not real sentences but little fragments about how annoyed she was at the meal. I know I will never be making her them again. It's kind of funny to watch the difference of Mother's demeanor when I gave her food compared to when Melanie gives her food; she tends to think my food is going to poison her so I just tell her Melanie made it. She's used to her girl Melanie making her meals. You really have to stick to a good routine.

I have to go home!

Mother, Melanie, and Kendra surprised me at work on Saturday. It was so nice to see them. They had just eaten so Mother had food all over her and they even put a full 'bib' on her. It wasn't embarrassing or anything just a few spots. At first when things started to go downhill I felt a little embarrassed when I was in public with Mother because of the silly things she does but now I don't care because she's so beautiful inside and out. People don't know that she's sick and I certainly shouldn't have to worry about people and the way they react to her. So what if she waves at random people, says random things, walks really slow, etc..., people should look at everyone as a human being and treat them with kindness. Okay, I'm done with my dementia public service announcement and now will finish my story.

Mother was at the bar sitting with the ladies and she started to get her serious frown on and started complaining about how she wanted to go home, to our actual home and not die which like her use of baby because it takes some decoding to differentiate the two. She turns to us and finally tells us she has to go home and be with the babies, the dog and the cat. She was seriously distraught over the fact that she had been away from  her babies for a few hours. She often does this but this time she apparently missed them a lot. Their visit was cut short so Mother could go home to be with her babies and to have a medicated snack. The anxiety she gets even over being with her babies really takes a toll on her and it is necessary to make sure she gets her medicine.

Sometimes the best medicine for Mother is just the love of her granddaughters, Julia and Lily. Mother always wants to hold the baby. She gets a little nervous when she gets upset or fussy but with a little bit of reassurance she will try to calm her

Mother is such a gooney bird.

I was making Mother a special snack and when I went to give it to her she was sitting there will the pillow on top of her head. I have no idea how it got there but it looked like she sat down and scooted her head below it. I asked her what she was doing and she really didn't notice nor did she care that it was there so I just let her go. After a few minutes I returned to see if she was eating her snack and this was her

I tried to ask her about it again and she just kind of became a little agitated so once again I let her go because if it's not hurting her then there's no need to get her in a mood. She stayed like that until she got up to go to the bathroom. It was a good hour of so...

Oh Mother

As previously mentioned Mother loves pulling at her eyebrow hairs and other facial hair but we figured out if we tell her specifically to stop playing with her eyebrows she will immediately respond with "Shut up, bitch." Who would have ever thought that hearing my Mother say those three little words could make me smile so much. She usually giggles afterwards or gives us the finger so it just makes it even better.

The past few weeks flew by but also seem like they've brought a lot of changes. Mother continues to become more and more agitated which is sometimes tough but with a good dose of Ativan life is good for both her and us. Warning: Waking up a sedated person leads to very weird conversations and events. Normally if Mother is 'resting her eyes' on the couch we try not to bother her because it's just better that way. Whenever we do wake her she will open her eyes (barely) and yell something funny. Usually, she will say something along the shut up, bitch lines, "be quiet!", or the ever so popular "where are we going?" The other night I was trying to get her to go to her bed and was walking her up when she followed the kitten into the kitchen and started commanding the cat to do things...to get me!

I was able to write down exactly what she said, " Get her, bitch. She's a bad bitch. These people are following me. I'm dying. I'm not coming back here." I just kind of distracted her and led her up to bed where I had to coax her to lay into the bed and to stop looking out the window at those people.