Holidays

Wow, time sure has flown this week and I feel like I have so much to talk about...I suppose it's because I'm back to blogging. Mother has been interesting as usual. Holidays are rough not only because of the emotional stress it puts on us all but Mother gets stressed out too; there's too much going on and just all people and movement gets her edgy. We all try to take her out and about as much as possible but this week was busier than ever. Friday our 9 month old niece came over which was great because the grandbabies are a natural way of relaxing Mother and easing her soul. Melanie and I decided to take Mother and Lily out for dinner and to wal-mart. Dinner was great. Although for some reason I wanted Mother to sit on the inside I got her to sit down but then she wouldn't let me in. I tried to scoot her over and everything and she just moaned at me. I ended up being on a third of seat. We go to the same restaurant because she knows the waitresses and it's a comfortable atmosphere. We do go to other restaurants but it does raise her anxiety level with those so we try to limit that. Mother sits grumpily because of the seat incident but as soon as Genine comes over to greet us she lights up.

 Mother hasn't been able to read for years now nor make decisions so she doesn't pay much attention to the menus. Sometimes she will pick it up and try to figure out what to do with it. As the disease progresses instead of letting her pick what she wants you have to give her choices, then once that doesn't work you lower the amount of choices, then you just kind of pick what she wants and hopes she agrees. Even if she doesn't agree we know she will like what we get because we know what she likes. Some weeks she doesn't like things she liked weeks before but she can be easily persuaded.

Mother gets her food and because she is grumpy starts moaning again when I cut her food for her. Definitely have to make those proportions sizes smaller; we don't want our lady choking now, do we? Shoot, sometimes we catch her eating things with the butterknife or scooping butter or sour cream into her mouth. You know what? The best way to explain this is to say we have a 56 year old child. After awhile Mother finishes her food and instantly gets anxious. "Where are we going? When are we leaving. I want to go." She forgot that we ordered her dessert so once again we get to watch her face light up with joy when she sees her whipped cream covered piece of cheesecake. But, of course, as soon as she is does she is ready to go. She is the boss! So off to wal-mart we go.

I'm not sure why we decided to press our luck with Mother but we did and we paid for it. We were walking around and Mother was bitching up a storm. She was so irritated and just wanted to go. She didn't want to see anyone and well, there were a million people there. We let her push the cart for a little bit. Who knew in such a short time her cart skills dramatically declined. Not only was she going slower than ever she was not staying the group. She'd just be moving along and then stop. One time I called over to her (a mere 10 ft away) and she flipped out. She march over to me and said she was going home. I felt so bad I wasn't sure what happened and why she was so upset. I calmed her down a little bit and stayed close by her. A little bit later I was talking to Mother and she flipped out again and then it dawned on me. Through the fragments, jumbled words, and reactions I had figured it out. She was embarrassed. She didn't want people looking at her. It was really like she didn't want the people to see her like she is. It was a feeling that Mom was feeling about Mother. Once I figured that out I made sure to stay closer and keep her very distracted by the goodies we found.

Oh how I wish that was the end of our trip. Minutes later Mother has a panic stricken faced. I know exactly what is wrong...she has to go to the bathroom. Ah, public bathrooms with Mother are the worst. I mean, not like going to the bathroom at home is an easy task for her/us. I volunteer to take her to the bathroom while Melanie continues to shop and watches over Lily. Uff, taking care of one adult-sized child and infant is no easy task. I lead Mother to the bathroom and as we near a stall she pulls down her pants. We aren't even in a stall yet. I'm thinking ok, now, just make it to the toilet. Pleasssssssse, make it to the toilet. To my pleasant surprise she made it! And then, I realized that I couldn't get the door shut. She wouldn't move her legs and the way she was I couldn't close the door. Even better, right? People are coming and going and I'm in the front of Mother blocking her out and trying to coach her through some stomach pains. Yes, Mother was having some stomach issues in the bathroom. She groaned and I was like oh my, what next? If  only someone hadn't been in the handicap bathroom. I definitely could have gotten her in there. After a very stressful 10 minutes Mother is feeling better and we leave.

After shopping around for a little bit Mother had a second bout of stomach issues. Oh great, I have to go through this again? Thankfully I was able to get her into the handicap stall and take care of business. Minutes go by and I continue to coach Mother through things. A bunch of younger girls came in laughing and joking around and Mother started to laugh with them. She even tried joining in the conversation but it wasn't comprehensible to them. Needless to say after this issue we immediately checked out and left. Mother was irritated and couldn't deal with it. I just wanted to avoid further unnecessary emotional stress for Mother and us.