For you, Mom.

My firsI recently celebrated my 27th birthday and I really wanted to get another tattoo for my Mother, well, for me as well. It does help deal with the heartache and I hadn't realized that I've gotten tattoos for my Mom at times where Mother had changed in some way and I was having trouble dealing with it. The first one I got was several years ago before I really started really becoming a big part in a Mother's caregiving. It's simple. It's the Alzheimer's symbol. Second was about a year after and was when it really hit me what this terrible disease was and what it was doing to my Mom, my beautiful, sweet, and caring Mom. I chose to get forget me not flowers. Not only was it a way of reminding me not to forget who she was but it was neat to see that France uses them for their Alzheimer's symbol. This week I got my third one and by far my favorite one. I wanted to really to really have part of Mother with me so I decided to take one of the videos of Mother saying "I love you", record it and produce the sound wave of it. I also took a card I found that Mother signed and got her signature traced. It really felt so many emotions seeing the beauty that resulted. She can't write anymore and she won't be able to speak eventfully but I have preserved what I can. 

My first two. I do realize it's a terrible picture. It's really not all crooked like. I'm not a good self photo taker. 

My new one

More babies.

Just an update Mother has a new addition to her babies and it's a butterfly. She gives them lots of love and attention. We definitely get jealous. 

Here she is telling the dog she loves him/her. 

The only one missing is Max

Miracles do happen

Well, kind of. Little everyday miracles like this: 

My beautiful lady was zonked out on the couch when I got home from work so I stayed with her and Melanie in the living room watching tv. Soon a loud noise woke her up and she was babbling dream nonsense at us walked of to the cat pointed, turned around, walked herself upstairs, went to her bed, took her sandals and laid herself in bed. This may not seem like much but for us it was like we looked at each other in disbelief and thought "did that just happen?". It was amazing. Blew my mind. Maybe when she she was sleeping walking and whilst sleeping walking she is dementia free? Haha, just kidding. She's still wild but I was so proud my baby girl on this night. 

I'm alive. I really am. I made it through a terrible week. Well, it was terrible at the moment but now just another little bump in the road. It was one of those weeks where I thought that someone was play a sick joke on me, testing my patience and my sensitive soul. Though it was a very tough week there were some good moments that kept me going and half-smiling.

Saturday night we had Karen's (future sis-in-law) bachelorette party which meant that we were all going to have a night out without Mother and that the boys were going to have a sleepover with Mother. We had to be ready by 330 at the latest and it felt like it took years for us to get ready especially with the constant sound of Mother trying to rush us. Don't get ready before Mother because when she is ready to go she is ready to go! Melanie, Kendra, and I started our normal routine of getting ready which involves one person being with Mother at all time while the other two do their thing. At the same time Mother is switching which person she is with she switches which stations she is at. Melanie will shower her, Kendra will dress her and I will groom her or whichever order suits us best.

This day Mother was very antsy and it had felt like I already had a good dose of Mother this week and I was just ready to leave the house so her repetitious anxious demented ways were testing my patience. Silence is golden; it really is. To distract her I made sure to take extra long brushing her hair and pampering her. I even gave her a back rub. She really loves back rubs. Melanie and I our convinced that she takes advantage of our back rubs. But they are very therapeutic for her. Any sort of touching really. Kendra loves to hold her hand, Melanie her back, and I rub her cheek a lot. If one doesn't soothe her another usually does. Well, that a sedative and Meredith bunny. The rubbing didn't occupy her long enough. We were trying to do our finishing touches and Mother had collected 4 purses and was pacing saying, "Come on, are you ready? I'm ready. Let's gooooooooo." There was so much repetition that we took turns answering her. Several rushed minutes later we were out the door. I made sure to go upstairs and get Meredith bunny for her because I knew she'd be happy to have her for the night away from home. Of course when she saw the bunny she said, "Aw, there's my baby."