3 am fun!

Not sure why but when 3 am rolls around Mother sure does like coming out. Recently, she likes waking up and looking around. When this happens we tell her it's ok and to go back to bed but that is not enough, sometimes. When this time rolls around we know that nonsense is going to come out. Sometimes it's that she wants her Mom (who is still alive), or she wants to go home (to heaven) or a combination of both when she wants to go home with her Mother. Whenever she does mention her Father she likes to remind us that he is in fact dead. Of course we know he is dead because he died before I was even born. I've be accustomed to dealing with Mother's rants but sometimes when she asks for her Mother I just want to say, "I know, I want my Mother too." We are simultaneously grieving but please let me have a moment to breathe and realize that I need to continue without my Mother. So what if she's not at my wedding, so what if she doesn't meet my kids....she will live forever in who I am and what she has taught me.

Women bear the burden of Alzheimer's

Here's an interesting article that I found today which is a good follow-up to The Shiver Report. They are both interesting reads. To be honest, I wasn't surprised with the findings but it just confirmed what I had originally thought. I've know so many great women that have done great things for their loved ones with the disease or similar diseases. It's the disease that's the burden and not my Mother. I am happy to be able to provide her with a happy, safe, environment with her family.

"Women are fully two-thirds of the people with Alzheimer’s.  They are also 60 percent of the unpaid caregivers of loved ones who have it.  In every way, Alzheimer’s is a mind-blowing disease -- not just for the people who get it, but for everyone around them. "

I am so thankful for my sister, Melanie, who takes care of my Mother all the time. It is her job. Kendra and I help out as much as we can while working and going to school but Melanie really deals with a lot and does it without too much complaining. Sometimes being around dementia so much you think you're actually going crazy too! This isn't the life that we imagined living but we're making the best of it both for us and for Mother.

Mother is Mother. Each day brings something new. The other day we were talking about sambuca and my Mom said, "My father drank that; I don't remember him". It was very interesting for her to remember that he liked that drink and that she didn't remember much of him. He died when she was in her late 20s so it has been a long time for her. Is this foreshadowing my future? Possibly.

The weather is so hot right now because we are in a heat wave and Mother sure does enjoy it...NOT. I was outside with Trisha when I heard this banging and I look over to see Mother banging on the window frantically. I go inside and she was freaking out about the people and not knowing where anyone was, which, of course, is completely normal. Melanie and Kendra were upstairs so I brought Mother out in the shade and we hung out. I tried to get her to go through the sprinkler but she just kept saying "not yet" but she stayed outside for awhile keeping a diligent eye on all of her babies (the 2 cats and the dog). I had to give her a play by play every couple of minutes. I literally said, " Don't worry about him; He's going to the bathroom."

After we came inside Mother was a bit tired from her medicine so she napped on the couch. She strangely was napping with her arms wide open like she was waiting for a hug. She tried to deny her napping and would randomly say some nonsense but we just told her not to worry. She still is saying it's cold out when she means its hot out.

Here, I can do it!

Today we went and played outside and Mother sat on the porch with Max and watched us. She wasn't really fond of being outside until our neighbor came over with his 1.5 yr old son. You know Mother loves babies and kids. She waved at him from the porch and after awhile we got her to come over and hang out. She was making faces at him and she really enjoyed being outside. We were playing with tennis balls and running around, well, we all know Mother wasn't doing any running! She is slower than slowskys. Melanie and I were throwing the ball when I turned to Mom and asked her if she wanted to play. I sort of said it jokingly but yet sort of serious because it would get her more involved with playing with everyone so when she exclaimed, "Here, I can do it!" and put her hands up I was a bit surprised. She did pretty well and she loved every bit of it. We tried to get her to throw overhand but she wouldn't. She threw with her right hand but she is left-handed. We asked her if normally did that later during the night and she said she did. Who knows? I definitely need a more reliable source than her though. It's unbelievable how well she did.