She loves the dog more

It is a running joke in the family that Mother loves Max, the dog, more than she loves us and you know what it might be true. We always ask her who she loves more and most of the time she responds Max. Nowadays, when we go out to family dinners or events she'll ask about leaving after 15 minutes because she has to go home and take care of the dog. She is constantly asking about if when we are gone or if we plan on going somewhere she asks if he'll be okay.

I caught her doing this recently (i'm not referring to her plucking her eyebrows out because we all know thats a daily occurrence)...

Yup, that's my girl holding hands with her favorite being!!!

Its been so long

Yet again, I became so busy that I couldnt post :( but don't worry I have everything written down. I started carrying a little book around so every time Mother did something I wrote it down as a little reminder. Since, the last time I posted we've gone to an Eagles game, traumatic and fun, had doctors appointments and of course Christmas. So much has happened in between these times too. Well, not so much has happened but Mother continues to be entertaining, and I've captured some of it in pictures and on video!

12:57 ...She has risen AGAIN!

If you are reading these post before the one that says Who is it please go back to that one...

So, she is up again and this time I captured her in action. She came down, asked where everyone was, said goodnight, asked where everyone was again, asked if the dog was ok, and then said goodnight again. I wonder if she'll come visit again...I'm guessing yes. 

 That's my girl in the living room entrance also that is the front window she tends to stare out of along with her couch window and her room window (her garbage stalking window)

Mom, come sit here and hug me

Part of my Mom's disease causes her to be apathetic which means she shows no emotion and this is not an understatement. It is rare when we see Mother show emotion and honestly when I did she her light up with emotion was when we gave her ice cream sundaes, cakes, etc but now it doesn't happen so much.

So coming home and wanting to get some comfort from mommy can actually be counterproductive but the other day Kendra came home and told Mother to come sit next to her and hug her and this is what happened:

Yes, she was "comforting" Kendra but can we also just take a wee look at Mother doing one of her favorite activities....did you spot it? If you guessed plucking her chin hairs you were RIGHT!!!! Good job. To be honest Mother did seem like you genuinely had the motherly instinct still in her which we normally don't see because she is giving it to the dog.

Who is it?

Yet another phase mother is going through. It is quite normal for mother to come down if she hears us and asks us what we are doing but now she is over the top. I've been home for about 2 hrs and i've literally seen/heard from mother 6 different times. She was asleep when I got home and about 30 mins after I got home she came downstairs looking like a 4 year old that just woke up and asked what we were doing and if the dog was ok. After telling her the dog was fine she went back to bed then I went up later and got creeped out (my mother is sooooo creepy sometimes, in a funny way of course) because she was sitting on the corner of her bed in complete darkness and she quitely asked me what I was doing. I then took her slippers off of her and tucked her in and tried to tuck her in tightly hoping that it would prevent her from getting up AGAIN.That was an EPIC fail. Yet again she came down asking what we were doing and if the dog was ok (I wish she liked me as much as the dog). This previous awakening happened around 11pm and when I went upstairs again at 1215 I heard this strange noise and couldnt figure it out then finally realized Mother was shouting or attempting to shout, (she has always been  quite lady) "who is it?" Like seriously, who does she think it is? Once again I let her know it was me and wished her a good night. I haven't seen or heard from her in 31 mins...lets hope she really is sleeping this time.

FTD Article

Erik, my brother, gave me this article. Sorry, my usually wittiness isnt present in this blog.

Oh FTD, maybe i'll explain a little bit of my mother's actions for my readers.

The Pepsi Graveyard

As previously mentioned Mother is absolutely obsessed with her Pepsi aka her crack. She is constantly talking about it and always wants a new bottle, we always get her small bottles because it is less complicated that way. The funny thing is that she always thinks that the bottles are empty or bad so she has tons of bottles next to her and maybe one of them is almost empty. Whenever she is near the hutch, our counter type thing, we have to ask her what she is doing and she says i need more and we have to reassure her that she actually has Pepsi.

These four bottles are just within a 12 hr period and I had to convince her she had plenty because she kept wandering back over to where the Pepsi bottles are. Also, I'd like to point out that she is now drinking DIET Pepsi basically because over the last few years Mother has been gaining some pounds and has quite the fajumic (fat stomach, a Josh Benson word invention to describe basically the Benson gut). I think we've had to get her a set of jeans like 3 times. Another reason for her sudden weight game may be because she is loves two other things besides Pepsi which are Ice Cream and Little Debbie or Tasty Cake snack, I mean who doesn't? We definitely are able to control her ice cream eating because she can't figure out where it is but she knows exactly where the snacks are and sometimes when we aren't watching we'll come down and she'll have eaten 4 Oatmeal Creme pies. Oatmeal Creme pies are pretty amazing but you think after the first she'd be sick of how sugary they are...obviously nice. Viva la fajumic!!!!

Give me a high five...close enough!

The other day I was talking with Mother about some tv show and whether or not she liked the show and of course she agreed because it was probably the 25th time she had seen the same episode of NCIS and thought it was a new episode. Afterwards I was a bit hyper and said, "high five to that" ....

Close enough, right? Isn't she just as cute as a button (as I write this she is literally Barney Gumble burping, you know the drunk from the Simpsons)?

Mother's Daily Routine

this doesnt include the super specifics but here is a glimpse into her daily silliness: 

Anywhere between 5-8am: Mother gets up and goes down to the couch to sit and take care of the dog. After convincing her that I will stay down and watch her she goes back to bed.

1030-1pm (1pm is a big stretch but now that its getting into the winter its becoming Mother's hibernation period where she literally stays in her room sleeping for 18 hrs a day): Mother comes down to the couch and assumes her position right next to Max and her crack, Pepsi. The tv is never off and is always on a channel that she likes. She is a big fan of NCIS, Bones, CSI, shows like this. Although recently she told us she like alligators. Now, when I saw this she didnt actually say those words she pointed to them on the tv and we filled in the blanks and she says yes. Because of her new found alligator obsession she likes to watch Swamp People too.

1pm-10pm: Mother watches her shows, drinks pepsi, sleeps on the couch, eats lots of Little Debbie snacks and creepily stares out the window. Also during this time she randomly will tell you a story, well parts of stories, remember you have to fill in a lot of blanks and the stories usually well always end up being something that she made up. Yes, Dementia has made my sweet ol' momma into a liar. haha, they are very strange lies too. Like the one about the neighbors not liking her or her talking to the neighbors...what a gooney bird.

10pm: Around this time mother usually says, "I'm going up" which means that she is going to bed.

11pm: Now, this used to be an exact thing but now it varies but she usually comes back down for some reason. It could be the dog, she thinks someone is here, she thinks something is wrong with one of us, you never really know her reasoning, clearly. So, she'll either stay down with us or if its late we'll do some convincing which is NOT hard at all. 

And then the cycle repeats itself...

and the saga with the trash can continues...

I really dont get it but can you really understand dementia? I feel like Max, the dog, understands it way better. On trash day mornings he always wakes us up between 7-8 am to go out but I really think he is waking us up to make sure mother is acting a fool because of the trash cans. So this week I woke up because of the dog and as I walk by her room she is standing up, holding the curtain to the side, and staring out the window at the trash cans. Seriously, the trash cans really got her attention. So to prevent mother from trying to go outside and bring them in  I brought them in. I see many 7am wake up calls to get the trash cans on trash day. Cheers to Max for helping us out.

Maybe he is returning the favor because she shows him so much attention. She feeds him like he's human, gives him pepsi, and tucks him in how could he not want to help her out.

It has been a daily thing for me to tell her that its ok to go back to bed and that ill stay downstairs and "watch" the dog.

Silly goose, over here!

Mother is absolutely OBSESSED with eating at the Eagle so we try to eat there once a week to satisfy her craving. Her craving consists of anything ending with dessert covered with half a can of whipped cream (my girl gets what she wants). Well anyways, Trisha, Melanie, Mother and I went to the Eagle the other day for lunch and we walked in and Genine led us to our booth and we all sit down and Mother pulls out a chair and goes to sit at a table by herself...We called her over and she sat with us.

Making decisions was always hard for mother but now its an absolute game. One day she'll like cheese and the next day she'll be disgusted about it. This lunch she was really craving a blood mary so we got her one well she actually had two and was trying to get Trisha to drink with her. The toughy is always the meal so we go through some ideas for her (she doesn't look at the menu becuase she doesn't really know what it says) and she keeps shooting us down. I finally remembered something and it was the key to picking her meal...I asked Genine what she thought was good on the menu and the first item she said Mother thought was a great idea. The thing that I remembered was that she usually goes with what new people say like in a way she's sick of what we have got for her so she loves hearing new ideas which are things we say anyway but hearing it from someone else really gets her excited.

On another note, we were sitting at the table and out of the blue we thought omg, did we check what shoes she is wearing...phew, she was wearing a matching pair! That's my girl :D

Of course that matches

Mother and her outfits, what can I say they get stranger and stranger everyday. Its hard to question her about them because she just goes I dont care or shut up, bitch and then giggles so we just kind of let her go with it. Here is her latest fashion statement:

If you're thinking is that a clog and slipper you are CORRECT. The funny thing it the clog has like an inch heel sort of thing to it so when she is walking it has to be uneven but she doesn't care. I took them off her last night and tucked her in (only because she kept going to her bed and coming back down so i figured if i tucked her in she'd stay there and it worked) and someone how she managed to put the same slipper and shoe back on. I feel like there is some sort of intelligence behind it because both slippers and both clogs are right next to each other and she mentioned to put the same clog and same slipper on the same feet. I know, I know, I'm reaching but hey you have to sometimes.

converstation with mother

me: are you eating a jawbreaker?
mom: i'm trying to.
me: here (putting my hand out) i'll take it.
she doesn't say anything
me: oh, you want to keep eating it?
mom: where is it?

huh? my thoughts exactly.

those damn trash cans

So, on Weds mornings we have to make sure we have a ears up to listen to what mother is doing because she likes to take the trash cans in. For some reason she has an obsession with things being in front of the house, including the trash cans, cars, cats, etc. One Weds morning we caught her around 7am trying to go outside to bring the trash can in which wouldnt have been too much of a bad things except for the fact that the garbage men didn't even come yet. We had to go downstairs and convince her to go back to bed until they came.

Two weeks ago, I knew the trashmen had come and I was just waiting for Mother to get up. Like clockwork I heard her get up and go to the door. After about 5  minutes of her playing with the door trying to get it open I heard her leave and I got up to check on her and before I could even get down the steps she had returned and was creepily knocking on the front door because she locked herself out.

Last week it was raining alllll day and Mother kept trying to go outside to bring the trash cans in in her SLIPPERS. For about 3 hrs I had to listen to her say "i'm going out" to go get the trash cans. I would have just gone outside and gotten them myself but I didnt want to get wet so instead I just listened to repeat mcgee. Oh, Mother.

Oh mother. What can i say she really is a funny lady. So much has been going on I keep jotting down everything that I want to say, I hope that I remember it all. Where to start?

Well, the other day Mom told us she was, "I'm going up" which means shes going to bed, she seems to tell us that a lot just so we know where she is I guess. After a few minutes I see that she is looking at a piece of mail like intensely starring at it for minutes so we finally asked what she was doing and she said, "its for me" so on the plus side she at least can recognize her name but she opened and was looking at the letter and couldnt figure out what it was saying. It was a letter from the doctor saying that she needed a physical so we told her that and she was like why, i dont need to go, i'm not going, when? So, we told her it wasnt for awhile but then lied and said oh wait its tomorrow and she threw the paper on the ground and said "i'm not doing it" and sat back down to watch tv. It was really funny and it showed a bit of personality which was quite refreshing. Oh mother. Can't wait till we actually have to take her to the doctor that'll be real "fun" ordeal.

Getting Dressed


I think the concept of what article is which has really slipped mother's mind. The wearing a sweatshirt and some pajamas pants because she was sleeping. Well, I guess at some point she was colder so she got up and put on some clothes to warm-up, which meant she took off her pants and put a t-shirt on top of her sweatshirt. Definitely, a different take on layering up. Of course we put a more appropriate outfit on her but yet again it has happened again today. 

Oh mother, it's going to be a fun winter, I think we better get her a snuggie for sure. I make sure to wrap her in the blanket. She has been staying in bed a lot longer. Winter she definitely goes into hibernation mode probably sleeps 12+ hrs a day.

Trash Day


Trash day is always a fun day too because mother is obsessed with the trash cans. We put the trash cans out on tuesday night and from then until the trash cans are brought in the next days is a constant battle about bringing the trash cans in. Oh, no I have to go to work. I will leave you in suspense for now.

Crying....over the phillies

So, i probably havent seen my mother so emotions let alone cry in a long time but they were just showing a synopsis of the phillies and all of their accomplishments and it had really nice music and what not. Well, we look over and mother is crying while watching it. She really loves her phillies. But, dont worry she plucking out her hairs while doing so. that's my girl.

Its been awhile, sorry. Nothing much has been going on except the continued craziness of mother. She has been talking about Erik for the last 5 days and about going somewhere but the conversations dont go like this. It is a constant game of trying to figure out what she is talking about and once we figure it out the cycle starts over and we have to play "the game" again! Repeat and pete were on a boat...

I will be posting a lot more and hopefully getting everyone else involved. I'm going to try and post a little something at least daily which I know is thinking positively but I will try.

Can't believe its been so long

I was just kind of looking at mother and thinking wow, the years have flown by and look at her now. I feel like it was just yesterday when she was constantly sweeping the same spot on the kitchen floor (it was probably about 2 years ago).

It seemed to give her such satisfaction "helping" out around the house. I wonder why she stopped?

We had a full house this weekend. Our friends Vanessa (who mother knows quite well and loves), her sister Rachael, Becky, and Brianne came to visit and mother was on her best behavior. I feel like there's something in her and whenever we have company she puts on a good performance and when I say good performance, don't think she's anywhere close to acting normal. Today when Vanessa and her sister left Mother stood up and went to Rachael and gave her a hug, it was sooooo cute. oh, mother.

Sometimes I feel like I have a stalker and her name is Mother! From the time I got up untill now she's has asked me 8 times if I had to work and what time. On top of that everytime I go somewhere she follows me asking me if im ok and if i have to work. Silly goose.

I was nibbling on a ice pop today and she says "there's one for me" and I of course know shes talking about an ice cream sandwich and said yes in the freezer. She went into the kitchen and came back 10 mins later empty handed. There are only 2 things that she knows the location of: her pepsi and her little debbie cakes, haha. So, i had to go get her her ice cream sandwich.

Then she got up and pointed to the tv (we were watching the  phillies) and points to the soft pretzel sign and says "do we have them?" She always loved them, glad to see she still does.

And for the big kicker. She's lying again. She keeps telling us she was outside talking to the neighbor about what hes doing to his driveway. Melanie is with her all the time she isnt going anywhere. Oh well, we'll just keep playing along as we always do.

Eureka

Wow, I'm so impressed with mother. I put on 10 things I hate about you and at the end she said "that guy was so good, you know he died" she was talking about Heath Ledger. So amazing.

On the other hand, she keeps asking me where Meredith is which is my name but she is actually talking about Melanie. I'm used to it by now I just go along with it.

Sleep, Sleep, and More sleep.

Since I just started it I'm going buck wild with posts, there's just so much going on with mother so I'm trying to remember and post as much as I can.

We like to joke and call mother Sassy (may she rest in peace) who was our cat who slept 20 hrs a day, ate a lot, and faked injuries for attention because well mother does the exact same.She'll come down from her room and sit and "watch tv" on the couch but really she's sleeping and I never know that someone could fall asleep in such weird positions:

You can do it!

While on our way to New York to visit the relatives the AC was blasting and mother was cold so we told her to close the vent and this is what happened...

Don't worry we did it for her eventually but we let her try at first.

And yes Julia is yelling for Nanny, who is mother.

Reverse Pouring

Welp, she's onto another phase in her life. Not only does she call every small animal and child "baby" but now she doesn't quite grasp the concept of pour a drink. While having a near empty glass next to her and a bottle of her liquid crack aka pepsi next to her she picks up the glass and pours the contents back into the bottle. Now, she asks us to help her because she can't figure it out but i must say 1 out of 10 times she gets it right.

Here we have her succeeding, well done mother, well done.

Why am I writing this blog.

Well, a good friend of mine, Kim, once told me it would be a good idea to write a blog about my mother and her activities and so I am finally doing it. My mother has frontotemporal dementia and has had it for several years now. She is 55 and I am 24 needless to say there are some interesting moments in our lives.

Mom in April 2010 with Julia my Niece (2)

Melanie is her caregiver and deals with her 24/7 while living under the same roof as myself, kendra, my other sister, and my brother Josh, who will be leaving soon to live with his girlfriend. We manage but it does get tough. The only way we can really cope is to laugh, its ok, you have to "laugh now, cry later" as Josh once said. So, as for this blog I'm just going to write stories about my mom, things she does, says, doesn't say,etc. I hope to being to post pictures and videos and maybe someone will read this when they're having a bad day with a family member with the disease or a similar one like alzheimer's and will laugh.